Self-Checkout

Honest Definitions

  1. Sensitive machine allowing customers to fulfill their dreams of working in the grocery industry without pay
  2. Recent technological advancement helping humans reach their goal of never talking with anyone else, ever

Usage Example: “There is no unexpected item in the bagging area! Why did I pick the self-checkout line?”

Background: For people interested in doing their own dental work, comes the self-checkout machine. These machines allow customers to play “Fantasy Grocery Store.” While in the checkout line, few grocery store customers are able to resist the urge to jump over the counter and scan their own items. Thankfully, the industry has responded to this desire by providing customers with an easy way to work for their favorite stores without pay.

The self-checkout machine also helps customers meet another need: avoiding conversation at all costs. The invention of the cellular phone forever changed the trajectory of mankind’s desire to talk with…

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